What better place to begin than the beginning?

I have never been a fan of ‘blogs’,the word awakens the cynical bastard in me that has slowly taken over my brain and I have always thought of ‘bloggers’ as a little self important.Why should anyone give a shit what I or anyone else as insignificant as me thinks about anything ?

BUT

The cynical,miserable,grumpy,negative,nasty bastard has been taking up too much space in my head for too long so (along with a load of other stuff that I might get in to later) I have created this blog just to piss the cynical fucker off in the hope that he up sticks and moves on to ruin someone else’s life.

‘SO’ I hear you say ‘What the uncle cracker has this got to do with riding across America on a scooter ?’ Well if you give me a second I will tell you.

For as long as I can remember I have been living with a black dog ‘LIAR !’ I can hear you shout ‘Franco is grey’ well yes he is (the official words is blue so shut it). I am not talking about an actual black dog,the black dog I am talking about is the one featured in this video –

Again cynical old me would have LOLed at the ‘gaaaaaaaaayness’ of that video but it pretty much 100% sums up how I have been feeling for about a third of my life. The dark mutt has stopped me from doing things that I used to enjoy,has talked me out of following through on any big plans I have made,has kept me in the same unfulfilling job for over ten years,has made me lose contact with my friends,made me hate everything and ultimately cost me a relationship that I thought was going to last for a very,very long time.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

Things have to change ,unfortunately for the gloomy hound I have bought myself one of these –

and I am dragging that mangey mongrel all the way to the dog pound and telling them that he shits on furniture and likes to bite kids in the face.

Moving on from the dog metaphor and back to the what the hell has this got to riding a scooter across America bit. Well (strike up the tiny violins) I was at the lowest point I had ever been in my life, I was already depressed and to top things off I had just been dumped by a girl I loved. I was ‘I am going to hide in my bed in the dark forever’ kind of low. The kind of low that seems impossible to get out of and that starts making you think ‘dangerous’ thoughts.All hope was lost ……..

UNTIL !

I received a phone call telling me I was going to be given 6 thousand pounds sterling. Now people say that money cant buy happiness and the people that say this are correct. However,money can buy things and allow you to plan things that (along with medication and therapy) give you a reason to try and drag yourself out of the deep dark hole of depression.

Originally the money was going to pay for me and a certain girl to go to a wedding in Australia, I had joked about using it to buy a motorbike but I really wanted to spend it on memories rather than something material. The Australia trip obviously went out the window when I got dumped so now I had all this money to spend on anything I wanted but what ?

Well one night I was laying in bed dosed up on Diazepam trying  shut my spiteful brain up for long enough for me to hop on the tram to sleepyton when I suddenly remembered that I had always wanted to ride across America on my scooter.

That was it,decision made the light at the end of the tunnel was not yet switched on but someone had bought the batteries and was on their way.

This blog will be a mixture of things,it will be both a journal of planning the trip,a diary of the trip its self full of pictures and videos as well as an account of my mental state as the months go on.

The trip happens in May,I have already made a start on the planning so have some catching up to do as far as blogging is concerned so if youre interested stay tuned and if you’re not then why have you bothered reading this far you nosey twat !